Is it okay to be depressed when your birthday sucks? 9 years in a row?
Since I was 13 my birthday has gone forgotten or just down right crappy. Last year was the worst, my 21st on Easter. I wasnt wished happy birthday once and my fiance then boyfriend gave me a card that he got from the hospital that read “have fun” with a picture of people taking shots on it. Being as it was Easter no bars or clubs were open so I spent it at home. I also didnt get anything. Tomorrow is my birthday and my fiance kept telling me that he cant wait for me to see what he got me. Well come to find out, he didnt get me anything. He wont even be home. I work 8 hours tomorrow and he is off work, but he has an unmandatory fire meeting to go to and they end at 10 pm but he always goes to the bar with the “guys” after, my parents wont even be around. I will be at work and then alone on my birthday.
Is okay to be depressed about it? I go out of my way for everyones birthday and everyone forgets mine
Am I selfish??
Image taken on 2008-03-16 11:32:23 by UltraCore.
Mail this post
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
5 comments
RonC on March 8, 2010 at 11:27 pm
I’d say you are in a horrible relationship- dump the a-hole and find someone who cares for you!!
Don’t get to worried about birthdays, though- they all suck and each one gets worse no matter what you get or what people say.
jane on March 8, 2010 at 11:39 pm
I think you should re-evaluate you relationship with you bf. From what you’ve written, he sounds selfish & self centred. About your bday,feeling depressed won’t solve anything. Try thinking of things you find enjoyable to do on that day & treat yourself to something nice. Instead of staying at home by yourself, go out with some friend or solo & try to have some fun
laborcat on March 9, 2010 at 12:08 am
First off, happy birthday. I know what it’s like to have crummy birthdays year after year. I think some people are just destined to have crummy birthdays. Especially if in your youth it was always a big deal to have a birthday (and most people are like that). I’m going to be 34 next month and I’ve accepted that birthdays are just crummy for me, I usually have to work, the rest of the family either forgets or doesn’t bother to go out of their way for it and I am fine with that. I’d rather focus my energies on more important things than reminders that I am getting older. I know this probably doesn’t help you feel better but it’s just what I have observed over the last twenty years. If your family is close you might want to mention that it depresses you somewhat to be alone on your birthday and maybe they can try a little harder to find some time for you the next time around, especially if you ask them ilike this: it depresses me to be alone on my birthday, can we plan some time for me to spend with you? And a side note on the fiance/boyfriend issue… if he’s really that insensitive about your feelings you might want to reconsider. I know men are jerks but even my jerk tries to spend birthday time with me.
You aren’t selfish to ask for some respect and consideration at a time that depresses you. You have told him that your birthdays are depressing, haven’t you? Good luck.
innerradiancecoaching on March 9, 2010 at 12:27 am
First, you don’t need anyone’s permission to be depressed. If that’s how you choose to spend your day, go for it. But I might have a better idea for you. Read on.
I spent many years being depressed on my birthday because I was looking for other people to make me feel special. After many sad, depressing and lonely birthdays, last year I had a revelation. I was looking for everyone else to make me feel special and I wasn’t doing anything to make myself feel special. If I wasn’t worth my time, why would I be worth anyone else’s time? I wasn’t willing to do something special for myself, why would anyone else?
So guess what I did on my birthday this year? I scheduled a day at the spa for myself. I didn’t have the money to pay for it but I knew the Universe would supply that. I made the appointment and I mentally and emotionally prepared myself for my special day. I happened to mention it to one of my sisters and shortly after, I received three gift certificates in the mail for the spa where I had the appointment. Three of my sisters chipped in to pay for my day. And it was wonderful.
So, to answer your question, it’s perfectly fine if you choose to be depressed on your birthday but it won’t be as much fun as it could be if you do something special for yourself. Throw a party for yourself and invite your best friends over. It doesn’t have to be on the day since you have to work but what about the weekend. Buy yourself some flowers. Take yourself out to lunch. Buy yourself a birthday cake. Whatever it is that you wish someone else would do for you, do it for yourself. Once you take action to make yourself feel special, other people will notice and join in.
Be good to yourself. Even if you just soak in a hot tub with some aromatherapy candles burning and some relaxing music on, do something that will make you feel wonderful. And from me to you, I hope you have the best birthday ever. You deserve it!!!
Franny on March 9, 2010 at 12:34 am
Not selfish at all, but that’s just my opinion. My husband knows that I am the biggest baby about our anniversary, mother’s day, & my birthday. I actually threw a minor fit last year over Mother’s day. Call up some girlfriends or let your boyfriend know that it’s in his best interest that you see hm tomorrow. HAPPY BIRTHDAY